


Any Questions?

by rogue_1102



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff without Plot, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Tricksters, parents vs kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-13 18:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21196802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogue_1102/pseuds/rogue_1102
Summary: When Bulma gives Trunks the task of helping find a costume for Vegeta, unexpected consequences occur.





	Any Questions?

**Author's Note:**

> For reference (highly recommended if you’ve never seen the Haunted Elevator sketch on SNL): https://youtu.be/rS00xWnqwvI
> 
> Part of the Halloweenie: Trick or Treat prompt from Vegebulocracy
> 
> Be sure to check out and support: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Halloweenie
> 
> Special thanks to WhattheHanz for betaing, Lady_Red and Areo_ian for the story help
> 
> Feel free to comment!
> 
>   


“No.”

“Come on Dad! We're never going to find a costume for you at this rate."

"Hmph. Good."

The twelve year-old sighed and looked to his best friend who had accompanied them before tossing another rejected costume back into the ever growing pile. Goten sat on the floor and stared blankly ahead, hands cradling his chin, having lost his enthusiasm for the chore four stores ago. 

When his mother had given him the task of finding a costume for his father a few days ago, Trunks had relished the challenge. Most times, Vegeta recused himself in the Gravity Room during Halloween and only emerged when absolutely forced. Trunks could vividly recall the time he and Goten had, as a joke, tried to trick-or-treat at the GR room door and were rewarded with sweaty towels tossed into their faces.

But this year, his mom had decreed that everyone had to go to her Halloween party, in _ costume_, and "Saiyan Princes who try to duck my party will find themselves cut off from _ ALL... _extracurricular activities."

Trunks was pretty sure he knew what she was talking about, but was grateful for the self-censorship. His father looked apoplectic at the ultimatum, and defiantly proclaimed "Woman, don't tell me what to do!" before he stomped loudly out of the room.

Trunks had seen enough of their back and forth over the years to know a retreat when he saw one, and he was going to make sure that his dad had the best costume ever. Too bad said Saiyan seemed to take perverse delight in his son's growing frustration and had been determined to make the process as difficult as possible. 

This was store number _ ten. _Just like the previous nine stores, the reluctant trio had been seen as easy marks when they walked in. A lone male with two boys seemed to scream “single dad” to the shop attendants and they had attempted to descend upon them like rabid, retail wolves. 

Maybe it had been the god energy, or his general demeanor, but one look from Vegeta had sent them all scattering. A few hapless workers had even burst into tears. It had been pretty hilarious at first, but now the novelty was long gone. Trunks wished that his dad would just give in and accept _ something _so they could do other things on their weekend.

"What about this one, Dad?" he said, holding up a Dracula costume, one he had attempted to steer away from at the past few stores knowing his dad's propensity to take any commentary on his appearance somewhat personally. "This guy was a prince too." He tried to purposefully hide the face on the hanger, which showcased the standard widow's peak of the character. No point giving his recalcitrant shopping subject more to say "No" to, but he still braced himself for the inevitable rejection.

A moment of silence passed, as Vegeta regarded the costume. His father had his trademark scowl on his face, but he still had not dismissed the choice. Trunks looked at Goten and saw that he had a hopeful look on his face, some semblance of life having returned to his eyes. 

"Yeah Vegeta, lots of people get this costume," Goten interjected. Like a shark who sensed blood in the water, his dad's eyes met Goten's and a sadistic mirth began to shine from them. 

"Well, I wouldn't want to look like..._ everyone _ else, would I?" he stated and removed the costume from Trunks’ grip. Goten groaned in frustration, and resumed his head cradling position. Vegeta stared at the picture on the hanger and frowned intensely, before turning his unhappy gaze to his eldest. Trunks could only offer a sheepish grin in defense, but he saw the ‘angry vein' become visible and begin to pulse on his dad's forehead. He knew he needed to wrap this up quickly before they were forced to pay for all of the ruined merchandise. His mom would kill him if there was a repeat of the “back to school” shopping incident.

Frantically, his eyes darted around for something, anything that could possibly be acceptable. Finally they landed on a black suit coat and pants covered with pumpkins. A matching tie hung nearby. 

“Uh Dad...what about that one?” He asked as he pointed in the costume’s direction and kicked Goten's foot. “Go get it!” he whispered as covertly as he could.

Vegeta’s lip curled in disgust as Goten returned and showcased the loud print for his perusal. “Yeah, and who is this supposed to be?” he asked as his eyes narrowed in immediate suspicion.

“Uhh...no one. It’s the first I’ve seen this costume,” Goten volunteered, and smiled nervously at the larger man. 

“Don’t lie to me boy. You’re as bad at it as your idiot father.”

Goten grumbled and mumbled a low, “Sorry,” as he turned toward Trunks. His friends eyes practically begged Trunks to seal the deal. Trunks nodded and turned to look at his father, determined to end these shenanigans.

“Dad, look.” He said, crossing his arms in a fair imitation of his father’s default pose. “We’ve been at this for hours, and you know you’ve got to pick something or else. That...costume is basically a suit. It’s a dude named David S. Pumpkins, and you don’t have to go any further than that. No stupid fake noses, no hair dye, no dumpy masks. It’s a suit. You can deal with a suit.”

Father and son stared at each other, neither willing to back down from the unspoken challenge that lay between them. Vegeta glanced down at the ensemble again and growled. The shelves started to shake, and Goten started to eye the trembling merchandise with trepidation, but Trunks knew he had to hold his ground. Finally, after several tense moments, his dad gritted his teeth and snatched the clothes out of Goten’s hand. “Fine! Let’s go!”

“Wait, Dad! Goten and I still have to find our costumes!” Trunks yelled after his dad, but Vegeta did not slow his pace towards the registers. Other patrons quickly scattered and gave up their place in line as his father slammed the costume on the counter and glowered at the shaking cashier. “Hurry up!” he barked at the cashier before yelling over his shoulder, “Then go find them by yourselves. I’ve wasted too much time on this ridiculous holiday already.”

As Vegeta began to rant to the cashier about the pointlessness of Halloween and how it was clearly a manufactured holiday whose sole purpose was to stupefy the masses with processed sugar, Goten tugged Trunks' shirt and pointed.“Hey, let’s grab those two skeleton costumes.” Trunks’ eyes landed on the outfits that his friend had singled out. All it took was a shared look between them, and the beginnings of a payback scheme started to form. 

Hours later, as they finalized their plan and hid their costumes in Trunks’ room, Goten asked, “You don’t think he knows what it’s from, do you?” 

Trunks grinned conspiratorially and confidentially back at his friend as he closed his closet door. “Not a chance.” 

—————————————————————————————

The quiet of the early morning was his favorite time. The Capsule Corporation building held none of the frantic and frenetic activity it did during the day, and he could take a few moments to enjoy the stillness.

Still in his Capsule Corp. boxer-briefs, Vegeta walked to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. As he inhaled the strong scent of the dark liquid, he sighed with satisfaction as it stimulated his senses before taking a sip and smiling when the hot beverage chased away the lingering tendrils of sleep. 

Before long, the house began to wake up. He could hear Bulma rushing about upstairs, yelling at Trunks to get dressed for school and he glared at the ceiling as thunderous footfalls began to race back and forth, only to briefly stop and start up again. He huffed in irritation before he folded the nearby paper under his arm, refilled his cup and walked upstairs to their wing of the house.

“Trunks, get your sister ready! You guys have to leave in ten minutes!”

Vegeta knew better than to get in the way during the mornings, so he did not interfere. Today was going to be stressful enough as it was, so he did not want to be in the line of fire for her ire. He simply walked up to his wife, who was struggling to put on her jeans, and handed her his cup once she had finished.

"Oh, thank you! You're a life saver," Bulma finally said after she downed the cup's entire contents and handed the empty mug back to him. 

"Hmph." He grunted as he took the cup, frowned slightly at its emptiness and set it and the paper on the bedside table. 

"Now, you've got your costume ready?" 

He glanced at the costume, in clear view, that hung on his closet door and raised an indignant eyebrow in her direction as a response.

"Yes...I see it. But, are _ you _ready to put it on later this evening?"

"It's not like I have a choice." He grumbled under his breath as he walked over to his dresser to put on his training shorts. The fact that he was being forced to participate in the farce still grated on nerves; however, he knew he was not willing to face the consequences if he failed to adhere to his woman's whims.

"What was that?"

"I said, it's not like I have a choice!" He replied heatedly as he slammed the dresser drawer closed with enough force to cause the treated mahogany to crack. 

"So dramatic. Well, please get your hissy fit out of your system before tonight. I need you _ cleaned_, dressed and ready by seven pm." The only answer he deigned to give his spouse was a begrudging huff of acknowledgment along with an irritated growl. 

“Besides,” she began as she wrapped her arms around his neck from behind. Despite his prior annoyance, he felt the tension leave his body as his mate’s hands moved to his shoulders. Expertly, she began to knead the taut flesh and a low groan escaped his lips when her thumbs traveled down his spinal column.“You know you’re going to surprise them. Just think of it as…a covert assault.”

Vegeta jumped in surprise at the quick kiss she planted on his cheek. “Damn you Woman and your sneak attacks!” He exclaimed and turned around; however, before he could stop her, Bulma was hustling down the hallway checking her to-do list on her tablet. 

“Hmph”

—————————————————————————————

“Do you see him Goten?” Trunks asked as he put the final touches on his costume and made sure that he hacked into the lighting grid without tripping the alarms. 

So far, the two of them had been able to avoid detection from both sets of their parents. This type of covert operation could not be left to chance, and he had to bribe Bulla with half of his candy to keep her from spilling the beans when she had found out about their plan. _ Also, I can’t forget that kiss I promised her from Goten. I really should tell him about that, _ Trunks thought.

“Yeah. He’s over by your mom.” Goten was fully garbed and ready to go. His skeleton costume matched Trunks’ in every way except Trunks had opted for a white wig to go with his and Goten left his hair the same. He queued up the music on his smart watch.

“Are any veins bulging yet?” Trunks asked and Goten took another careful look around the corner, making sure to keep his _ ki _suppressed. Vegeta had only just arrived, dressed in his costume, and looked as sullen as usual. But, as far as he could tell, no immediate warning signs were present.

“Nope. We’re in the clear, but we gotta go man. Someone is gonna ask him who he is!” 

“Alright!” Trunks looked at Goten, took a deep breath, and held out his fist. Goten nodded, and reciprocated the gesture by connecting his fist to Trunks’.

“It’s go time.”

——————-——————————————————————-

The evening was in full swing. Music, food and alcohol flowed freely for the adults, with outdoor activities specifically designated for the younger children. Everyone seemed to be having a marvelous time and this party was beginning to have all the earmarks of a classic "Briefs Bash".

As she surveyed her guests, Bulma was certain that this celebration would be one to remember and, despite his prior protestations, Vegeta had arrived as promised. She had known how reticent he was to attend but, when he had finally arrived, he had walked over to her side dutifully and without additional complaint.

She could not help but smile at the changed man beside her. Ten years ago, this sight would have been unthinkable. But now, here he was in a pumpkin suit slowly tracing his fingers on the small of her back as he listened to Goku talk about new training forms.

She almost wished she did not have to play hostess at the moment because her spouse filled out that ridiculous suit in ways that were positively sinful. The cut of the costume had been altered to fit his frame, but the suit jacket still strained to contain his muscular physique. She very much wanted to help him out of it. Luckily, for propriety's sake, a question from Chi-Chi drew her attention away from publicly eye banging her husband. 

“Oh Bulma… that’s a lovely… who are you supposed to be?” Chi-Chi asked, her confusion very evident. She and Goku had opted for a couples costume, and were dressed as eggs and bacon respectively. 

Bulma could not help but laugh and smile kindly at her friend. This costume had cost a fortune, and would no doubt look like a metal monstrosity to most. She calmly explained that in the world of video games, there was a heroine called Samus Aran and this was her battlesuit. “Oh, well… it certainly looks… authentic,” Chi-Chi attempted bravely once Bulma had finished her explanation.

“It actually works too!" Bulma exclaimed, pride and excitement evident in her voice. "Who knows? Maybe I can take this bad boy into battle with you guys next time, right honey?” She turned to her husband, but Vegeta scoffed and took a long sip out of the scotch glass that had been affixed to his hand since he had arrived.

“And Vegeta… who are you supposed to be? I mean, that’s not really a costume right? It’s just a suit, so technically you’re not playing by the rules,” Goku asked.

Vegeta glared at the other man and put down his drink on a nearby table. As he was about to open his mouth, the room suddenly went dark. Murmurs of confusion echoed throughout the room, each guest inquiring what was happening and if this was part of the party. Before anyone could investigate further, the lights flickered back on.

Bulma heard Chi-Chi gasped at the new scene in front of them. On either side of Vegeta were two skeletons, Goten and Trunks, with arms crossed. The two boys had goofy grins on their faces, and they were leaning towards the other.

“Oh, well that was weird.” Bulma said in a manner that seemed to imply she was not at all surprised. “Vegeta… why don’t you tell them who you are.”

Vegeta looked angrily off to each side at the boys, and the tips of ears started to turn pink. “Tch! I’m... David S. Pumpkins.” He finally replied, his voice low and dangerous. 

After the words left his mouth, funky-fresh music erupted from the speakers in the ballroom,and both boys alternated busting moves in time with the tempo. Vegeta for his part, kept his arms crossed across his chest and stared straight ahead with a unamused frown on his face. His left eye had begun to twitch, the involuntary spasms the only other external visualization of his annoyance.

Once the music ended, the skeletons grinned in victory at each other before resuming their position. Each guest was staring, jaws slightly ajar in shock at the impromptu dance break that had just occurred. A few of them began to move towards the exit, discreetly, anticipating the Saiyan Prince’s legendary temper.

Vegeta waited a few moments and observed the room around him before he glanced down at each boy. After taking a deep breath, his eyes found hers and they shared a knowing look with each other. She nodded her approval, and a self-assured grin spread across her husband’s face before he turned towards his former rival and asked, “Any questions Kakarot?” 

Both boys’ eyes widened in shock, and Bulma had to bite her cheek to keep from laughing. Clearly, they had not expected that reaction but, luckily, they were not the only ones. Goku looked to Chi-Chi and then back towards Bulma, the obvious question plain on his face. “Um...yeah. Who is David S. Pumpkins?” He chuckled nervously, and attempted to scratch his head in his customary fashion, but was thwarted by the crispy costume his wore.

“Oh, he’s his own thing,” came the cool reply from the smug Saiyan. With a calm precision, and a comfort that said he knew he owned the room in this moment, Vegeta straightened his pumpkin bedecked tie and recrossed his arms. 

——————————————-———————————————

_ Shit! This isn’t supposed to be happening. _

As soon as Vegeta started to quote the skit, verbatim, Goten knew they were made. He looked over to Trunks and asked without words whether or not they should bail on their plan. Clearly, he had underestimated the man’s pop culture knowledge. 

“And the skeletons are…?” Goten heard his mom ask. Her voice was uncertain, and confused. 

No one answered, and the silence began to stretch on a bit too long after her question, but Bulma quickly piped up from her position in front of the ever growing crowd to say, “Part of it!”

“But… why?” Goten heard his dad ask. This was quickly getting out of hand. This was not supposed to be a performance. It was only supposed to be a quick joke. They’d get their payback on Vegeta for the hours they wasted on Saturday, and then they’d leave to go trick-or-treating with the younger kids. 

“To do this,” Vegeta simply replied in a manner that would have caused a normal person to back away in fear, and suddenly the music returned. Goten looked over at Trunks again, but the boy shook his head as if to say he wasn’t in control.

_ Double shit! _The funky beat, and the rapt audience, demanded dancing. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Trunks begin to flail and gyrate in a brave attempt to save face. Out of immediate options, Goten followed suit and fumbled his way through the song. 

Once the music stopped, everyone started to clap uproariously. Goten, sensing that this would be the perfect time slink off into the crowd, attempted to slide away but he felt Vegeta grab his shoulder with enough force to firmly root him into place. The older man must have done the same with Trunks since he heard some muffled protestations coming from the other side. He felt, rather than saw, Vegeta lean down so that only he and Trunks could hear his words over the applause. 

“You try to humiliate me again and no Dragon, super or otherwise, will be able to resurrect you.” Goten gulped, and turned his head slightly to look at the intimidating Saiyan and the steely look in the man’s eyes left no doubt in Goten’s mind that he would follow through with his threat. Quickly, he nodded his understanding. Vegeta released both boys from his grip, and went back to pick up his scotch. He swirled it gently in the glass, before loosening his pumpkin tie with one finger and nodding in their direction.“Good. Now, go take Bulla and the others trick-or-treating. You will forfeit _ all _ of your takings to her,” he stated, and made as if to turn towards the other adults. 

“What! That’s not fair!” he said at the same time as Trunks. 

Vegeta paused and turned to face them, an unnerving smirk gracing his normally taciturn features. 

“It’s perfectly fair considering she refused to tell me of your plans until I made an acceptable counter offer. Needless to say, my negotiation skills far surpass yours.”

Goten punched Trunks in the arm as they turned to walk towards the door. “Way to mess it up for both of us man.” Trunks scowled and retorted, “It was your idea first.”

“Boy!” Goten froze, knowing that he meant him, and glanced back at Vegeta. The man seemed to be laser focused on him for some reason. 

“Yes?” he answered hesitantly.

”You should know that, despite my best efforts, I was unable to alter all parts of Trunks’ deal with his sister. She was quite uncompromising in regards to a display of affection that was promised to her by her brother...from you.” 

Goten quickly glanced over at Trunks, confusion etched all over his face until his saw the incredibly guilty look that graced his friend's features. He sighed loudly and ran his hand down his face in frustration; however, before he could protest or plea for leniency, the larger male in front of him continued speaking.

“A man fulfills his responsibilities, whether he wants to or not; therefore, you had better fulfill yours, because if you make my daughter cry…” Vegeta took another slow sip of his drink, leaving the last part of his sentence unfinished; however, the implied threat was enough to cause goosebumps to rise on Goten’s skin. 

”Any questions?” 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Collecting](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21258080) by [THRILLHO](https://archiveofourown.org/users/THRILLHO/pseuds/THRILLHO)


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